So, I always give you guys a synopsis of my poems I guess you could call them. This one doesn't really have an explanation... It just is. So, please enjoy the following poem, written in letter form simply entitled
Dear Love,
It's quite nice to see you again. We haven't spoken in some time. Who knew this is where we'd end up.. You avoiding me, and me desperately trying to cling to what I once pushed away. I remember a time when it wasn't like this. When we'd sit on the phone for hours dreaming of Love's first kiss. When we dreamt of days when we would wake up in each other's arms. When I would be near, and you weren't so far. But see, you knew me like the back of your hand. You knew me even more then I knew myself. Scary things happen with knowledge, and let me tell you I was scared. I didn't want you to suddenly open your eyes and look at my flaws, and realize you were wasting your time. So I kept you at a distance, but you were always so close. This time though, I swear I've ruined it. You won't even look in my direction. You won't even whisper to me Love's confession. You claim to me, I let someone else get in the way. I remember I was scared at first. I didn't realize how much I needed you. Now you're telling me I can live without you, & I can only whisper "This can't be true." For years you've chased me, from every corner of my emotions and back. Somehow you've always managed to keep my heart intact. You've always managed to keep my mind at bay, my strength was in you and maybe that was a mistake. Dear love, is it my fault you want so desperately to leave? Did I take you for granted, all those nights we would sleep face to face when we were never side by side? Is it my fault you're going because I couldn't swallow my pride? Why can't you find it in your heart to share what's mine, you gave it to me, you can't take it back. I refuse to go through the misery of losing you too.. It's just weird because now I see, the best part of me is you. You kept me alive all this time, and I can't live without you. I was to selfish to see just how much you needed me. See, love cannot live for long without being reciprocated. I think I've given you a death sentence. I'm so different now, you don't recognize me anymore. Where there was once warmth, I'm now cold. I'm tainted, you can see marks left behind of those I wanted to fix my soul. You'll see the residue of alcohol, drugs, and pills I thought would free me, you'll find scars on my chest cavity from where I've allowed men to attempt to break through to my heart, you'll find lumps on my scalp, because who knew that ripping your hair out from the turmoil of who you've become could leave a mark. You'll find bags under my eyes, I roll them all to often. I don't want to see my reflection anymore, it's like looking into a coffin. You see, the moment you left, I lost my will to go on. I just don't know how I could make it, without listening to sad songs. I finally found you, I want you to know how messed up you've made me by pushing me away like this. Just know, you're the reason I'll never taste true Love's first kiss.
xo, Tyffeni B.
